Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Reunion Thoughts

My 20th high school reunion is coming up. Am I excited? Kind of. Sometimes. There are people I would love to see, but with facebook, I am in contact with them. The reality is I may not be able to make it anyway. We just moved to Las Vegas and are in the process of getting settled here (read - trying to find suitable, sustainable employment). But, as usual, I digress...

First, are we really so old? In high school, my parents were so old and clueless! Now that I am "their age", I realize, they weren't old, nor were they clueless. I know my child better than she knows herself. I can look at her and tell you what she is thinking and thinking about doing. Am I unique? I don't think so. I think any of us who is involved with our children has the same gift. It floors me to think I am nearing 40. I don't even feel like an adult some days. I love Rock Band and we even have parties where only adults are allowed to play. The things that make you go hmmm... (okay, those sorts of references age/date me!)

I did not grow up in Evanston. We moved there when I was an awkward teenager in middle school. Evanston, Wyoming is a small town where people grow up together. It was difficult to find a group of friends who were willing to let an outsider in. Thankfully, I am not a shy, introverted person and wasn't then either. Michelle and Loni were in my first group of friends and we have stayed in contact through the years (on and off). I was in Michelle's wedding as her Maid of Honor and attended Loni's unorthodox (like you thought she would do the princess wedding thing...yeah!) wedding when I was 7 months pregnant. I was not part of the "in" crowd, but I wasn't not part of it either. I was friendly with everyone. I had friends from all the different "cliques".

Like I said, Facebook has been great! I have been able to at least superficially be in contact with some of the people I knew from high school. I am truly enjoying the reconnecting and finding new commonalities. The voyeur in me loves seeing what everyone is up to. I have visited some of their blogs and enjoy getting to know them better. A lot of us have kids - that is the great equalizer! I am surprised by the number of kids some people have (and their ages). Some had kids right out of high school, some right out of college, some had one right out of high school and then more later, some are just now starting their families. Crazy! I am in the middle somewhere. My daughter is 10. I married right out of college and had her 5 years later.

So here I am trying to lose weight and get in shape for July, and I wonder why? My current friends know what I look like, extra pounds and all (and there are quite a few of them). AND, they don't care. I don't care about their extra pounds either. Why should I care what people I haven't seen in twenty years think? I mean, truly, most of them will not be any closer to me after the reunion than they are now. And, those that are, hopefully, won't be better friends with me because I have lost 40 pounds (yep...ughh) to see them. I will be trying to lose weight and get in shape because I try every year, but I have decided not to kill myself over it in hopes of reaching my "high school" weight. I would like to think I have let the teen angst go. I do not need to please everyone and have wisened enough to know there are always people who are not pleased by anything anyway.

I am also embarrassed to admit, I have forgotten some people. I will read their names and it will take some time to remember who they were or if I actually knew them. Most of the people I hung out with, I remember. Some others, I struggle to remember. I know I should, but I don't. Is this age? Probably some.

I was looking at my facebook friends list and remembering them as they were as I look at who they are (and I am trying not to hold them to who they were).

Loni - BFFL? Maybe. We have always been so different and that is what keeps us together, I think. We live across the country from each other and haven't seen each other in 10 years, but we connect. I love her irreverence for everything and have truly enjoyed watching her progression from "Kids are a curse" to "I have found my calling as a mom". She just cracks me up as her life is completed by her husband, son, and son on the way. I read her blog and laugh out loud sometimes at her take on life. She is also so incredibly creative and her crafty interests are so her.

Michelle - Her blog is more sporadically updated, but is so her. Michelle was always more reserved and quiet and her posts reflect that.

Cara - Everyone's friend. I think of her as the catalyst that keeps the Class of '89 together. I have sooo enjoyed getting to know her via emails, blogs, and facebook. As we have reconnected, I see her as someone I will probably keep in touch with for the rest of my life. But then, Cara has that wonderful ability to make everyone feel that way. What a beautiful person she is. I am glad to count her in my circle of friends.

Jamie - we got to chat when I was in the middle of my move to LV. She was so cute talking about her kindergartener and her new husband. She is a teacher in Evanston.

Wendy - my driver's ed buddy - we drove through Arby's every driving day so she could pick up some food for someone she was crushing on at the time. Good times!

Connie - I have truly enjoyed posting back and forth with Connie. She is another truly remarkable individual. She is a minister and my former worship leader at our church in Tucson is friends with her. Small world. Both she and Layne were amazed at the connection.

Dallas - I think my husband may have gotten to know him better than I knew him. They played basketball together in Halfacre gym at UW. I reconnected with Dallas through a friend of my husband's and mine in college, Eric. They were engineering students together. We all got together once in Denver. Dallas' wife was with us.

Matthew - Matt and I were each other's security blankets. If neither of us had a date, we went out. It was always nice for me to know I had him. We weren't possessive of each other and were happy when the other did have someone else. It's not often you can have that sort of platonic/not so platonic friendship work. It worked for us.

I have many more friends from high school on facebook and many more memories of each person.

I am still ambivalent about the reunion. I am hoping we have all changed enough to not be the same people we were, but also, to not have changed so much that we lose the person we were. Ahhh, paradoxes...


LingoVise Says... said...

Okay... So how unhip must I be? WTF is BFFL?? I so totally don't know.

The reunion... I absolutely hear ya on that note. Although, trust me on this... I went K thru 12th grade with most of those folks & don't think I feel any closer or know them any better than you did coming in half way through.

Honestly, I'd only be going to see a handful of people... prolly less than 25. So it's a tough call. It's made more difficult by the fact that we live 2500 miles away, I always hated Shitville and I don't have any family there anymore. That would mean we'd have to use vacation to go... and I just don't know... I think I'd much rather spend vacation with Patrick & Henry than with folks I haven't seen in 20 years - most of whom I didn't know all that well even then. That is unless I went alone... which sounds sort of dismal, complicated by the fact that our newest addition will only be a few months old by then :)

In the end, I'll just have to see and play it by ear. Keep me posted as to your plans.

Scribbit said...

We had our 25th this year adn that was me--ambivalent. Curious but didn't go.

cara said...

Lordy... I thought I was reading my own mind! I am feeling the same about the reunion.. really insecure about the way I look.. ugh! But then I remember.. I never did look like any of those girls anyway.. always had big boobs and biceps like a football player, not a petite thing at all! I'm totally flattered by what you said about me though.. and I truely love that we are back in contact with each other.. I think our girls would be great friends! I hope that you will be able to make it to the reunion, but if not, I'm SURE that I will have to make it to Vegas! My husband hasn't ever been (can you believe that??) I too consider you one of the people I will always know.. a true friend!!
And.. I know I haven't been blogging.. I just can't get back on the bandwagon!